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FUNNY HEADLINES/SAYINGS:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  
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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers   
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over   
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death  
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   
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War Dims Hope for Peace   
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 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures   
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges   
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge   
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks!!   
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   Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half   
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors   
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Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead   
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I'd love to agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.   
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